The CRUFC touring party had prepared well for this away game, arriving 2 days earlier to acclimatise to the conditions in central Europe. After a hearty breakfast at the New Inn on Thursday, the players moved on to Manchester airport for a few doses of aviation stress reliever, before the 2½ hour flight to Hungary. The team always like to soak up the local culture on these away trips and used their time on Friday to go on a sight seeing tour around the city before some were seen waxing lyrical about it in an Irish Bar later. In the evening, tour master Bob Wilson lived up to expectations and took the whole touring party up the Danube as part of the traditional pre-match team building.

The party generally consisted of experienced players who naturally treated their bodies with respect prior to the game, selecting only protein rich energy foods, such as goulash, pork fillet and paprika chicken, as well as some local delicacies called; Dupla Kébäb (mit nem saláta) and Mäxi Bïg Mac. No one was sure what these Hungarian foods were before we tried them but they tasted good. The general opinion of the team was that they could catch on at home in the near future. With the fixture in mind, the playing squad drank in Moderation (as well as some other bars) and experienced many local brews including a dark beer called Gúinëss and a light one called Shtellá, these too could do well at home, once export licences were granted.

Budapest is a great city, very welcoming and to make us feel even more at home it persistently rained it down for most of our stay. Early on game day we had the tragic news that Kecskemet’s pitch, which lies on the banks of the Danube, 30 miles South East of Budapest, was flooded and unplayable. This raised a small cheer with those squad members wrestling with acclimatisation sickness, but we had been assured that an alternative venue would be found. True to his word our Hungarian fixer Alan Rees, came up with another pitch at Budapest Exiles, 10 miles into the suburbs from our central location. The tour party looked out from the sumptuous Astoria Hotel, which was our base for the trip, with considerable awe at the 4 shining stretch limos that had been sent to pick up someone else and were obscuring our coach from view.

The tourists made the 30 minute trip to the Exiles’ ground in relaxed mood, some chatting about the cultural heritage of the city, some staring out the window getting into the zone and others joining in the movie quiz, which was taking place at the back of the bus. Steve Smith thought he was best at this and asked to play his joker, but all concluded he couldn’t. In fact, if you see him, the tour committee would urge you to go up to him and say’ “Smithy you couldn’t”

The Exiles clubhouse was grand without being ostentatious, changing facilities we ample and based on designs by Corbusier during his port-a-kabin phase. The opposition were most welcoming, as could be seen immediately on viewing the pitch. Having ran out of white lining paint, they used several cans of high strength lager to mark out the dead ball line at each end of the field. Clearly they had done their research.

The game kicked off with Cleckheaton fielding 15 from a squad of 23 players and the opposition selecting a starting line up from just short of 30. Rolling subs were agreed prior to the start, a welcome relief for Cleck, with some of the lads ready for substitution during the 5 minute warm up. The local ref did not turn up due to change of venue, but luckily we had our own newly trained bar steward, sorry I mean ref, Nick Robinson, who stepped in to the save the day.

The Kecskemet and Exiles players applied themselves with vigour from the outset, forwards contesting hard in the scrums and 2nd phase and the backs running fast out wide. Cleck responded with similar enthusiasm, stumbling into scrums and passionately clapping the home side’s backs, as they ran fast out wide. Cleck however did peak in the line out, with hooker Steve Fletcher’s throwing improved markedly by the fact that he could no longer see straight and twin brothers Matt and Andy Womersley, jacked up by Andy Corfield, soaring like bulls on pogo sticks after that oval ball. Tour virgin Matt Wood, who had performed admirably all weekend, also did well in the line out and in open play.

As the tourists’ breath started to take its toll on the hosts and the home side’s tactic of spreading wide early was no match for Cleck’s wing duo of Tim Hall and Sammy Thompson, it was with only mild surprise that Cleck were first to get on the score sheet. Andy Robinson, found Bob Todd on the blindside and he staggered into a couple of would-be tacklers before putting James Wilson away for a try in the right hand corner. Wilson converted his own score to give a 7-0 lead. Richard Simpson was next on the board after good work from centre slim jims, Mick Howard and Steve Smith. With a solid defensive line in front of him, Simmo picked up at the back of the ruck, feigned a pass to the right and did the Batley Monkey Dance straight under the sticks. Ian (HK) Webb adding the conversion. The Budapest team retaliated with a try of their own, to bring the score to 14-7 before James Wilson got his 2nd of the day, supporting a sublime angled run from Craig Blackburn. The conversion was missed but the scoreboard was moved on to 19 – 7.

Kecskemet regrouped and scored next to bring the teams back within 5 points before Cleck brought on some reinforcements, in Lee Windle, Glen Rayne, Mark Waite and Bob Wilson. The fresh* legs took it toll and it wasn’t long before James Wilson went over for his hatrick wide on the left. The half time whistle sounded and with much relief the tourists had got themselves through the first 40 minutes, with a respectable and somewhat unexpected lead of 24-14.

The half time interval gave the tourists the time they needed to top up on beer and they started the 2nd half with renewed inebriation as well as with some more fresh* legs in Steve Hutton, Colin Thompson and Paul Rhodes. The latter clearly misunderstanding his room-mate when he dared him to go commando during the game.

It wasn’t long into the half before James Wilson popped over for his 4th of the day and added the extras and then Steve Smith proved unstoppable from 10 metres, as the hosts had, to their cost, inadvertently left a partially eaten kebab on the dead ball line. Smith also converted his own try to bring the score to 38-14.

Our hosts did not capitulate at this point and added two further tries, one of which was converted, to bring the score to 38-26 before Bob Todd picked up a loose ball on the opposition 22 and ran over for what would be the final score of the day.

The teams exchanged congratulations and, following a shower, our new Hungarian friends treated us to a superb goulash-like pork stew and a whole shed load of beer! The teams delivered their speeches, sang a few songs (‘Yesterday’ by the Beatles will never seem the same again) and exchanged a few keepsakes, including the donation of the Tourists’ Cleckheaton strip to the Hungarian RFU’s development initiative; a gesture that was very well received by our hosts. We said our goodbyes and boarded our coach for a post game celebration in the centre of Budapest.

On Sunday after an excellent lunch, the tour party headed to the airport for our return flight home. Unfortunately the Icelandic ash cloud, much to our disappointment, forced us to stay another 24 hours in Budpest. A free overnight stay, courtesy of Jet 2 in a local airport hotel and an adequately stocked bar helped relieve our chagrin and we managed to get back to Cleckhetaon safely the next day.

All in all another good tour – with thanks to Bob Wilson & Colin Thompson for organisation and money collection and to Mark Waite the one and only Kit Capitan.

*Fresh: Adj – unstable, improperly bold and prone to act as if intoxicated